One of my favorite lines in the Coen Brothers movie The Big Lebowski (free on Hulu right now or $3.99 to stream on Amazon Prime) is when Jeff Bridges and John Goodman’s characters have just scattered their friend’s ashes in a traumatic scene and Mr. Goodman’s character Walter says, “hey, f__k it, man. Let’s go bowling.”
The scene shows a funny but real link between surviving trauma, being too hard on yourself, and the value of seeking some form of light relief. It comes to mind because I’ve frequently been judging myself for lacking more willpower, right now, when life is tough for everyone, and for some of us, far harder than others.
But yoga is a daily practice. Just keep coming back to the mat. Rather than struggle too much and cycle into dark thoughts, I’ve found solace in close friendships, and by forcing myself to stop and relax. Meditation. Polishing my shoes. Aka: Bowling.
Click here to take my yoga class for the week, an homage to the Big Lebowski.
Unlike Mr. Bridges’ Dude’s comfy sweater, it’s true that discomfort can be one of our greatest teachers. One of my own teachers, Marina, mentioned a quote from chapter 18 of the Bhagavad Gita this week during an awesome class on willpower: “that which seems like poison at first, but tastes like nectar at the end.”
Sure. Sometimes we can all benefit from drinking a little poison to get tougher. And. Right now, many of us are feeling like we’re not doing enough to combat racism. Then we’re judging ourselves for that, and then, disengaging from the longer-term struggles. I’ve drunk my fair share of poison over the years in the name of seeking justice and can assure you that when life gets really tough, it’s so important to seek solace when you need it, and just for a short time, get used to the power of saying “hey, f__k it, man. Let’s go bowling.”
It’s not a cop-out. There shouldn’t be shame in it. Rejuvenation can take a few seconds, a few minutes, or a few days, and we have to listen to our bodies. As George Floyd’s death sparked protests around the country, I’ve been humbled by the willpower of everybody who has risen up to say “no more.” Willpower isn’t just about short-term grit, though. It also unfolds slowly. I watched a fantastic live Q&A discussion led by the Museum of Modern Art on June 18, featuring the 90-year-old artist, Faith Ringgold, who painted “Die,” back in 1967. It highlights what she felt was America’s message to black people at the time. At the age of 90, Ms. Ringgold’s unfolding willpower through all the trauma of the subsequent years has been remarkable. She’s amazed by the wave of recent racial justice protests. “I’ve never seen so many people in the streets,” she said.
It’s probably a function of my whiteness and my privilege, but I don’t feel as tough as she is. While I’m taking steps to do everything I can, I’m also exhausted and have found myself needing to take lots of breaks over the last few weeks to make sure I don’t burn out.
How are you doing? Okay?
When I am Ms. Ringgold’s age I would like for people to say that I never gave up on them, and was always there with a word of encouragement. That would be evidence of my slow-burning willpower in action. I’d also like people to remember that I told them to go bowling more often.
P.S. It’s This Week’s Vegetarian Recipes!
Yoga is based on nonviolence, or “ahimsa”, in Sanskrit, which means no killing animals. I didn’t like the idea at first (and I still have the odd relapse) but have been trying vegetarianism on, and enjoying the subtle effects on my mood and body.
My favorite recipe this week is for pan fried tofu on sesame watercress with soy orange dressing (pictured above, right). I’ve been making various watercress dishes as it’s in season—including Julia Child’s watercress soup, which was delicious, but quite a production. This recipe is the best and most convenient use of watercress I’ve found so far. It serves two as a main course, with rice, and can be found on page 279 of the Gourmet Cookbook, edited by Ruth Reichl. It’s not available online, so I’m going to pay homage to the recipe here, in the hope that you’ll be inspired to buy the book:
1 tbsp sesame seeds
¾ pound extra-firm tofu, rinsed, drained, and cut into ½ inch strips
1.5 tablespoons vegetable oil
1.5 bunches watercress, tough stems discarded
2 tbsp finely grated fresh ginger
1 large garlic clove, minced
¼ cup fresh orange juice
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tsp sesame oil
Toast sesame seeds in a dry heavy skillet over moderate heat, stirring, until fragrant and a shade or two darker. Transfer to a bowl. Pat tofu dry. Heat 1 tbsp vegetable oil in a 12-inch nonstick skillet over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking. Add tofu and cook, turning once, until golden brown, six to eight minutes total. Transfer to a plate. Heat remaining 1/2 tbsp vegetable oil in skillet over moderate heat until hot but not smoking. Add watercress and cook, turning with tongs, until just wilted. Stir in sesame seeds. Transfer watercress to a platter (reserve skillet) and arrange tofu on top. Combine ginger, garlic, orange juice, soy sauce, and sesame oil in skillet and bring to a simmer. Simmer for 1 minute and drizzle sauce over tofu.
Napa cabbage is also in season in New York State, and Melissa Clark’s Dinner has a fantastic recipe for a spicy Thai salad with coconut and crispy tofu, which Google Books has made available for free.
To start the day I occasionally like slow-cooked oatmeal, which releases its energy sustainably over the course of a few hours. I like to make it “fun” with chocolate chips and walnuts, maybe some blackberries. Logan’s aunt got us a juicer as a wedding present so we now need to get a grip on our daily juice habit—I spent $50 on citrus fruit last week! But f__k it, man. Let’s go bowling.
I hope you have a great week. Let me know if you’d like to connect to discuss your practice, or anything else, frankly.
